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Trouble in Royal Paradise? Uuuuhhh...No.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Coronation Service 2013
Oook, this is addressing the debate that took place in the comment section of the last post. I am surprised by how many of you seem to think there is trouble in paradise (paradise being William and Kate's marriage) and I want to put some things in perspective.  

Trooping 2013

We see a lot of the royals, thanks to their public engagements and the zealous efforts of the paparazzi to keep us informed on what brand of orange juice we should buy to be most like Kate.  The occasional excited fan tweets that they saw Kate at a petrol station with her dad, or Wills was seen boarding a train in Anglesey, etc, etc. You may get the impression that you are privy to almost every second of your favorite royal's life, but this is a false impression.  

Shopping

We get a healthy amount of information about the royals, but in the big scheme of real lives, lives that operate on a twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year... etc, we actually aren't privy to all that much of their actual, real lives at all. Don't let me burst your bubble. If you love to follow the royals be grateful we can't get that kind of access. Otherwise, you would wake up one day and realize you spent the better part of your own life, watching someone else live theirs. Uncool, royal or not. 

Working

So, granting that we don't really have that much access to their real lives, when the more recent public--or pap--sightings of our royals show them separate--William working in Anglesey or Kate shopping in London with her mom, we should not take away that they are leading separate lives. What we should notice, how could one not, is that Kate is pregnant

Let's cut the universals and hack away at the particulars. Kate is pregnant, very pregnant, like we are all glued to our phones waiting for the arrival kind of pregnant. This means she is staying close to London so she has access to her doctor and hospital. We have noticed Kate start to stay closer to London two months ago.  Kate did not attend the Percy wedding, not for any nefarious reason, but simply because the Percy wedding was 300 miles from London and required the kind of long distance travel most doctors aren't comfortable with even for a non-royal mother.

William has a job. A lot of people love to scoff it off, but he has a legitimate job in Anglesey. We are back to the pregnant problem. Kate is very pregnant and shouldn't be in an isolated farmhouse in Wales, however idyllic the scenery. William wouldn't want that, Kate's doctor wouldn't want that. This is unfortunate, but also life. Plenty of military wives go through separations much more stressful and burdensome. William even took a two month tour in the Falklands after they were married, it is routine. He will be present to hold his newborn child on the birthday, which is more than I can say for many members of the armed services posted overseas. Perspective folks. 

Lastly, we should be careful to judge William and Kate's public interaction to be indicative of their private interaction. Kate is all smiles and charm when the camera is on, but William is always slow to warm up. His personal history with the press has soured him in this area; I think he will forever hold resentment there.  He often clams up when the cameras are rolling and I think he would rather minimize the candid shots of them so they are not available for public consumption. Just because paparazzi shots caught them in private moments like this:


And this:


Or when they had unguarded moments of excitement together at the Olympics:

 

Does not mean that we get to see their private moments all the time. William and Kate rarely touch when on public engagements, both because of the professional atmosphere they want to bring to the table and because of William's fierce protection of his privacy and his wife's privacy.

Lastly, again back to the pregnancy, Kate is about to deliver a little royal baby who everyone earth will want to have pictures and details of. Consider the care with which William tried to ease Kate into the fish bowl of royal life. He will want to protect his child as well and so we could very well be getting frosty vibes from him, but they are obviously not directed at his Duchess. 

Right now they are in transition, William is attempting to fulfill his commitments to the military and to his charities (the polo game is an annual charity event) and Kate is trying to do what is healthy and right for her at the moment. Let's all relax. 

People will see what they want to, as happened when William received his RAF wings in 2008. He walked down the hall with his girlfriend Kate as she almost seemed to struggle to keep up with his longer strides. Was that an unforgivable offense over which they should have broken up about? 




They didn't think so...



I have put the file The Cambridge Couple back up for a period of time so that you can peruse some of their best unguarded, but public moments. Below is one of my favorite videos of them. William helps several ladies off a helicopter, and lastly, he helps Kate:


Cute then, cute now. Vive the Cambridges!

25 comments:

  1. Well said, Jane. I always think it's ridiculous to read so much into the smallest things when we know so little about their day-to-day lives. And as for her not attending the Percy wedding being some sign that he doesn't want her in his life anymore...for goodness' sakes, she attended a wedding in Switzerland back in March with him. I totally get not wanting to go to a wedding three hundred miles away when you're out-to-here pregnant, especially if said wedding is going to be swarming with photographers hoping to catch a glimpse of your belly & upstage the bride.

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    1. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. I have never been pregnant, but I have tons of friends pregnant, and I think there are times when they just don't feel so great. They don't want to travel long distances, and put on heels and a party dress, and stand through a church service, and make small talk at the reception. So, yes, I agree, no reason to sound alarm bells.

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    2. I've also read that hyperemesis gravidarum can sometimes make a reappearance in the last few weeks of the third trimester. Who knows, but I would bet on that before I'd bet on marital problems.

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    3. That is possible, but I am hopeful that it is not the case. We still see her shopping, so... I am sure she wants to get that baby out, though. It is time for a cooing baby.

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  2. I totally agree with everything you said. I think they're a darling couple. I love how often we see them smiling and laughing together.

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    1. Yes, good point. They actually smile and laugh together quite often! More than I expected, actually. They are cute.

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  3. Perfect, Jane. Perfect! :D
    They are so cute, so sweet with each other. How much they love emerge always they're together, official engagement or not.
    This is a very important event for both, primarly. A private, emotional moment! And then, it's important for the world! So, a little time unstressed by 'paparazzi', photographers and journalists is really healthy!

    Chiara

    P.s
    Ever more love this blog, xoxo

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    1. Woohoo! Thank YOU!!!! Love to hear you love the blog! :)

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  4. So well said Jane!!!That is why I LOVE this blog!!!

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    1. Thank you Liza! I am so, so happy for the positive response! Thank YOU for reading.

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  5. Hi Jane- Thank you for your great insight to this beauiful royal couple. But I am still having a hard time thinking that William is being faithful to his wife. And the reason is because there are pictures of William at a stage (in May or June) party with another woman. And then there is a picture of him at his lst polo match again flirting with another woman. We all know how much the royal men love women. I was hoping that William learn a lesson from his parents marriage. Now I am not saying his is I am saying this is what it look's like. He also stated that he has learn from the past. So hoping this means he will never cheat on his wife.
    And he has been alone in Anglesey all of his wife's pregnancy. He see's his wife when he can so that lends me to beleive it is like 3 days a week.

    I just hope he is being a good husband and that he will leave the RAF and be closer to his wife and their baby. You can not be a good husband & father if you are 300 miles away 4 to 5 days a week (i.e.Andrew & Fergie). Any idea what his plans for the future are? I hope he does what is right and move full time to London

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    1. Hi Pauline! I get the sense you are worried, so let me say a few things that will hopefully ease that.
      What separates men and women from animals? The major defining difference is our rationality. We have the ability to choose our path, to pick between multiple options, whereas animals are urged on by instinct. They don't pick something the way we do. Where is this going, you ask, well, William might be away from home sometimes, but that doesn't automatically mean that he can't help himself, that he MUST be cheating if he is on assignments away from his wife, or if he is chatting with beautiful women at polo games. Fidelity is a choice. No woman or man ever forgave his spouse for cheating because they said they "couldn't help themselves" because in the end you always have the choice, for which you will be held accountable. (That isn't to say people don't forgive cheating, but we are off topic if we head down that road.)
      William and Kate have been in a almost continuous monogamous relationship for close to ten years now. Right off the bat, that longevity strengthens their ability to stay together. When you make choices, you are strengthened in your habits, be they good or bad, and when you continue to repeat the choice the habit grows stronger and stronger, and ultimately a habit will become your character and your character is not easily broken. That's why even our little choices are important.
      I think when those two finally did pledge their lifelong fidelity to one another, in front of the altar of God, their family, their friends, and the world, they both understood the meaning of the commitment and that they were prepared to see it through, "'till death do us part..."
      I wouldn't worry too much, Pauline; everyone can make a mistake, but they have lots going for them. :)
      Thank you for letting me know your thoughts!!

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    2. I honestly think, and I say this with all due respect, that you are going too far in thinking about William and Kate, Pauline. You have no evidence, and talking to other women is not evidence, that William is cheating or any reason to think so and saying something like that can be an ugly thing to do. You also don’t know how much time William and Kate spend together or how William’s work schedule is. You should also remember that there are many ways to have a successful marriage, even if it might not meet your expectations of what a happy marriage is. If William and Kate don’t see each other as much as normal couples do then that might be something that works for them. If the only thing you think of when you see William and Kate is that they’re having problems in their marriage or that William is cheating, I don’t see why you bother following them. William and Kate could have a horrible marriage and hate each other for all I know, but I choose to think that it’s not like that and I have no reason to think that a young couple expecting their first child wouldn’t be happy together and it would make me miserable in thinking that. Focus on the positive instead of looking for something negative that you don’t even know if exists. I’m sure that would make you happier as well in following William and Kate.

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    3. I will also add (different anonymous than the one above) that I think it would be healthier for you, Pauline, to step back a bit and try not to get so invested in the private lives of a pair of complete strangers. I've seen you post on this and other blogs a lot, and quite often it seems like you take everything related to this couple a bit too personally. For example, you threw a big stink over at hrhduchesskate when William attended a gala without pregnant Kate and an older woman dared to *look* at him when his wife wasn't around, and you jump all over anyone who dares express anything than total adoration of the duchess.

      Jane is absolutely, 100% right that we cannot know the real truth about the couple's marriage, or even their personalities, from the snippets we get from the media. The press will ALWAYS write the stories that get the most clicks, so if it suits them they'll run a bunch of candids showing the couple looking at each other adoringly, or they'll run a bunch of stories about Kate and William's "separate lives." People following the couple should remember to take these stories with a grain of salt, and not get too caught up spending the better part of our lives watching them lives theirs (great phrase, Jane! And wonderful post!)

      Whitney

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  6. Superb post Jane and I agree with every word. There are too many people who over analyse every photo and story about the Cambridges. If a photographer took lots of candid shots of me going about my every day life, they are going to catch moments when I am looking sombre, or chatting and giggling with one of my male colleagues (very innocently). Taken as stand alone moments, these could be interpreted as me being miserable or flirting while nothing could be further from the truth.

    Pauline, with all due respect, the picture of William at the polo match with the young lady seems perfectly innocent. Yes he's talking animatedly to a pretty girl but why see it as flirting? It's almost as if you are looking for the worst scenario. As for him being alone in Anglesey all of Kate's pregnancy, you don't know that for sure. He will have been on duty a lot of the time and we aren't privy to his and Kate's every move. To doubt his fidelity with absolutely NO evidence other than your own interpretation of a few photos and assumptions about his whereabouts is ridiculous. How would you feel if someone made assumptions about your own relationship from little glimpses here and there? I appreciate your concern for Kate's happiness but I really think there is nothing to suggest that they have anything other than a modern happy relationship. Despite his Royal status, William has to knuckle down and fulfil his RAF contract like any other serviceman and he gets cut quite a lot of slack anyway with time off for royal engagements. I have no doubt that he will be a great father, no matter how his military career pans out. Annie, UK

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    1. Hi Annie! Thanks; super excited by the positive comments on this post. I agree, he does get a lot of time off, and I bet even now he has a pretty decent schedule to sneak away and get some time with Kate. I am sure he also wants to serve as best he can, while he can, because it will end and they will normalize. A man does love his time in the military. :)

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  7. Wonderful post Jane! I agree that we really don't know all that much about their private life nor should we, we have the Kardashians for that! Regarding William's absenses due to work, my husband often works far away from home, sometimes even in other countries and has since we've been married (14 wonderful years)and it feels like a honeymoon every time he comes home! Kate and William have experienced these seperations due to his work since they've been dating and it certainly doesn't seem to affect their relationship negatively,maybe they're enjoying their honeymoon too!

    Now on to the photographs in which either William or Kate or both are not smiling and seem maybe to be upset, scientists have discovered a new syndrome that might explain this it's called Bitchy Resting Face. People with this syndrome, and it affects almost everyone at one point or another, can look mad, unhappy, upset or sad when in fact their facial muscles are simply resting. The most popular sufferer of this syndrome is none other than William's grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II! So rather than panic over possible problems in the Cambridge marriage be happy that they are taking the time to rest their facial muscles so they can continue to smile for many years to come!

    Jane, thank you for all the hard work you do to make this blog so wonderful, it's the first one I read every day! Also, I really enjoy the Tiara A Day site and I believe it is keeping the doctor away!:) Keep up the great work!!

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    1. Haha, you know, my family also has an almost angry face when we are at rest. That or we all constantly are thinking about serious issues. :)
      Thanks for weighing in with your personal experience, too, I think it is important for people to remember that these situations are not entirely uncommon!
      I am so glad you like the blog so much, I love the feedback, it gives me pep to continue. A Tiara a Day is a wonderful blog, and although I would love to be able to take credit for it, Ella Kay actually writes that blog. She is an exceptionally talented royal blogger, so I am enjoying it with you!!
      I so very much appreciate your kind words!!

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  8. Every word is just set right! Thank you. And critics - I was pregnant in a hot summer and it is not a big fun even if you feel brilliant and healthy. But attending a wedding fully dressed and probably stealing the show of the bride - NO way. I feel it quite sensible not to attend.
    Everyone ever considered that she might love to be with her husband in Angelsy and due to the status, safety issues and protocol not being allowed. Probably William is more sad than her that he cannot be with her? Or taking into consideration what might happen giving birth in a tiny village hospital? Tweets from nurses from her bed, overwhelmed hospital staff by a herd of media? NO - I think she has not really a choice.
    In addition she needs to oversee renovation of their future home which is in London and
    travelling back and forth wouldn't make it easier for her.
    Why shouldn't he attend the Polo - Jane your soooooooooo right with your comments. Pretty sure she likes him to go and if something would be wrong or else she would tell and he would cancel it immediately ...
    We're not in their skin - its all about speculation but after marrying after that many years of a great friendship is love and from their "public" appearance they enjoy it every day!

    Love this blog! Sorry for my English I'm native German.

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    1. Hi there! Your English is great! :) Thank you for all your input and thanks for reading! I agree, Kate has always been a very supportive partner and I am sure she wants him to both support his charities and get his recreation in as well. This is a life-altering time for him just as it is for her.
      Thank you for stopping by, I hope you continue reading!

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  9. Thank you for this, Jane! I wish more people would remember that William is an active duty member of the military. Though he has a lot of leniency, he seems to take this status seriously and it does impact where he is able to be at any given time. It has always bothered me that people diminish his job as if it is just something he does for fun, when it is a full-time career that provides for everyday families. Though we don't think of her as such, Kate has been a military girlfriend and wife for a long time now. Separations are part of the gig and I'm sure, like most military spouses, she's used to it by now. Even pre-pregnancy, when they were both in Anglesey, William worked shifts meaning that there were plenty of nights when Kate slept alone in their house. Two people do not need to spend every day together to be happy and committed.

    That said, why must people nitpick candid moments looking for things that aren't there? Even perfectly happy people don't smile every moment of the day. It is normal and human to think about a myriad of different things in any situation - sometimes about the situation and people we are with, sometimes unrelated to the situation and people involved. Unless we are acting every moment, some of these emotions show on our faces, often fleetingly, and no one gives them a thought...unless a camera happens to capture it. Still photos do lie. We shouldn't read too much into them.

    To finish up, it is OK for William and Kate to laugh with, smile at, touch (gasp!) and thoroughly enjoy conversations with other people, even of the opposite sex, even attractive ones. That does not make them unhappy in their relationship or cheaters. It makes them human. They have to be so careful in public, lest imaginations run wild, that it's almost as if we'd rather have them act a part instead of be themselves.

    Thanks again, Jane, for the great post!

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    1. Hi! I agree wholeheartedly. They are normal and social and it would be strange for them to over think it all. Less public sensitivity would be good. :) The Coronation service wasn't really a smiles and giggle kind of gig, so you are right that they were probable lost in their own thoughts and observing the gravity of the occasion.
      Thanks for all your comments--I really enjoyed them!

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  10. Hi guys!
    I just wanted to say few things...I've always loved this couple and I've seen them in public several times... I've always seen chemistry and complicity between them! But my opinion is: I think they have some problems like every couple! It's true that William has a work but (maybe I'm too sentimental) I'm feeling very sorry for kate, because she has been spending her whole pregnancy alone... That's what I see at least. For me William has not been supportive... when I see her shopping all alone or when I've heard that she has spent some time with her parents I felt sad! Buth as I've already said, that doesn't mean that they have a separate life o whatsoever... That's is what I sense... My view of things! Thanks for allowing me to express my opinion! Interesting debate!:-) Martina, Italy

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  11. I found this site quite by accident. I absolutely love it. Keep up the good work. And please, leave the video of William helping Kate off the Heli up on youtube. Thanks for all your hard work.

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    1. So glad you found us; welcome!! Isn't that the cutest video? I LOVE it. :) Hope you continue to read!

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