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Diana, Our Mother Documentary Airs Today

Monday, July 24, 2017

With just over a month to go before the 20th anniversary of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, ITV has aired a new documentary created in collaboration with Princes William and Harry to tell the story of their late mother. Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy aired on ITV at 9pm and it will air on HBO in the States at 10pm tonight.

HBO

This is the first time the princes have "spoken about Diana as a mother," and in an early showing that William hosted for the press before the trip to Poland and Germany, the Duke said that part of what has motivated this film is the fact that the younger generation might not even know of Diana at this point.


Of course, they couldn't let the 20th anniversary go without comment, and I think it is time they discuss their mother a little more in public. William shared how he tries to keep Diana's memory alive for his children, by framing pictures of her throughout the house, and telling George and Charlotte bedtime stories about their famous grandmother.



I haven't seen the show yet, but look forward to watching it when I can. It has sparked numerous headlines, as you can imagine. I think the princes are in a difficult position. Given how acrimonious Charles and Diana's divorce was, it is hard hard to walk the tightrope of praising her without casting blame on their father or the monarchy. Or admitting some apportioned fault. Many like to point out that Diana wasn't perfect, but I think even the staunchest supporter of Charles would have to admit the fault was overwhelmingly his. From reviews, it sounds like this special makes no mention of Charles at all.



Obviously William and Harry loved Diana deeply. To put her death in perspective, she died at 36, one year older than Kate is now. Although the boys were older, it is sobering to think about how very early her life was snuffed out. As more than a few commentators have remarked, Diana died at the height of her beauty and at the height of her popularity. Time never tarnished the rapport she had created with the public or the image she had crafted in the last years of her life, and to her boys she must have been quite perfect in every respect.

Via KP Twitter

At the same time, Charles is their father, and it seems very clear they love their father and that they have a good relationship with Camilla. The result is this strange parallel reality they have to create, to address each parent in isolation. In some sense it is a very sad predicament, and in another it is a tribute to the ability to see beyond faults and failings and love a person despite his or her faults. It's pretty universal, since it is something we all have to do daily with loved ones, friends, and the world at large.


I hope this ushers in a new chapter in William's life. Harry refers to his mother far more than William, but certainly William has paid tribute to his mother and his wife in gifting her some of the most meaningful pieces of his mother's jewelry collection. Most notably, he gave Kate his mother's ring and her sapphires reworked into Kate's favorite sapphire and diamond drops.


Kate surprised many by wearing the Cambridge Lovers Knot tiara, which Diana made iconic, and I am sure William had a hand in that selection. At the most recent State Banquet, Kate also wore the pearl drop earrings Diana would sometimes wear with the tiara.



Just this past week, Kate wore Diana's pearl bracelet on tour:



And fans are still trying to determine if the rubies Kate wore to kickoff the trip might have belonged to Diana.



So, the Cambridges have been deliberately recalling Diana through Kate's jewelry of late, and it remains to be seen how much they speak publicly about her in the months to come.

P.S. The tour post will be late...obviously. I have an unexpected writing assignment that came up. :( 


124 comments:

  1. I am far from being Prince Charles biggest fan - but I cannot agree that the breakdown of their marriage was solely his fault. Beautiful and kind as Diana was (and a loving mother) she was also a deeply flawed personality. Her "birth family" was wildly dysfunctional, and she married into one that was, at that time, way too rigid and old-fashioned with very little emotional warmth. Her life was actually a tragedy, IMO - but her death turned her into this saint-like creature which she wasn't at all. To her sons, she was a beloved, fun mum - and honestly that is the kindest way to remember her. But the princes obvious love of Charles, and respect and fondness, speaks volumes.

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    1. Agree, Margaret. Both Charles and Diana have good qualities and they both played a role in the breakdown of their marriage.
      ~ A

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    2. agree a little harsh to blame Charles. There is equal responsibility for this marriage breakdown. He has done a wonderful job in raising the boys, it is unfortunate that it is not acknowledged more.

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    3. Hi Margaret, I completely agree with you. No one is perfect and I'm sure the breakdown of their marriage was multi-faceted. There is his side, her side and in between somewhere lies the truth.

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    4. Charles married Diana even though he was in love with Camilla and never ended his relationship with her. Also, he failed to inform Diana that he was only marrying her because he had to marry someone suitable and produce an heir and a spare. Also, he failed to inform her that Camilla was the love of his life and he was going to lead a double life with a wife and a mistress. He misrepresented himself to Diana. Diana was young and naive, and Charles took advantage of that. Diana did love him but their marriage didn't have a chance. Sounds like a whole bunch of Charles guilt to me.

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    5. I always wonder how much guilt Diana's family should shoulder. Yes she was young and naive and had not even graduated from high school. But there is no way that the entire Spencer family was equally as naive, and yet they threw her to the wolves when they didn't teach her about what to expect and abandoned her to cope with her struggles alone. In my opinion the Spencer's sacrificed Diana for their own reasons and that makes them more culpable than either Charles or Camilla who were also victims of unfortunate circumstances resulting from the rigid rules governing the BRF at that time.

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    6. Rarely does a marriage breakdown because both parties are at fault. Most often, it is one party who shares the vast responsibility. No fault divorces are just a legal term.

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    7. And Diana married a man she had only spent 13 days with. And she pretended to be interested in things she didn't really care about at all. And she got caught up in the romance novel aspect of it like everyone else. And shame on her family for not stopping it or stepping in. I know 20 year old women who would never marry someone under those circumstances, actually they wouldn't need family to tell them anything.
      She was a grown woman with her own apartment, out earning her keep. She desperately wanted to be Princess of Wales, and turned a blind eye to many red flags and ignored people (like Mary Robinson) who tried to interject.

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    8. Anon 9:17, I'm willing to put quite a bit of blame at the Spencer doorstep and, perhaps, the most part of that blame on Diana's maternal grandmother's shoulders. Most accounts put Lady Fermoy and the Queen Mother as the chief instigators in arranging the marriage.

      Anon 10:23, I don't know any 19 year olds who would marry anyone under those circumstances either but it was a different time then. Young women are more savvy now. Also, Diana grew up in a different way. She was extremely sheltered. Her mother wasn't around and her father was distant. She read romance novels and bought into The Fairytale. Her London apartment was bought by her family and her preschool position was part time. It was just a little job to keep her busy until she married. She did not support herself by it in any way. Her father paid her bills. She never had a boyfriend. Yes, I'm sure she wanted to be the PoW but she didn't realize what that would mean. She thought it meant she would be loved forever by her husband because he would never be able to leave her. Really, she was that young and inexperienced.

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    9. 10:23-
      Your comments are beyond and frankly make little sense. Diana was 19 when they got engaged and Charles was in his 30s, Prince of Wales, her first real boyfriend, etc. But all this is her fault for agreeing to marry him? Please.

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    10. Faith,

      While her family did support her lifestyle, Diana actually had at least three part time jobs at once, including cleaning apartments. She worked way more than Kate Middleton ever did.

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    11. I think there's plenty of blame to go around. And 19 year olds are not 12 year olds. We send people younger than that to war. And back then it was much more common for women to Marry young, she wasn't that abnormal for other women her age. She later admitted she didn't care for any of charles' hippy hooey when they were "dating" but pretended she did. She knew exactly what she was doing.

      So I have no time for the sugary Saint Diana the poor victim routine I think that's been exposed repeatedly. And you can admire the good things she did it stands on its own you don't have to roll it all into some Disney character. She was quite shrewd too IMO.

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    12. "...sugary Saint Diana the poor victim routine..." "...Disney character..." Are you referring to the topic of this post- this film? Have you seen it? You need to specify , as you have posted as anonymous (8:23) and I am not sure what else you have said. Your remarks do not reflect the overall tone and content of the documentary, in my opinion. anon1

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    13. Camilla, is that you?

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    14. Well, 8:23, I can see you have very little empathy for a young girl that got herself stuck in a bad situation, and I don't know why we are comparing her work experience to Kate's. Just the fact that Kate attended university and Diana did not makes 19 year old Kate much more wordly wise than 19 year old Diana. As far as Diana pretending to like Charles' world, what teenager in love hasn't done that? Imo, she became shrewd because she had to. I haven't seen anyone on this blog saying that she was a saint or flawless. She was human but she was someone who married someone who would never love her and at the time I really don't think she knew that was part of the deal.

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    15. Without reading any comments yet my feeling is the institution was also to blame as much as Ch or D.... the fact Ch was forced into marrying a "virgin or virginal appearong" lady (as I've read in books was the guidelines of the institution at the time) while loving Camilla... I feel compassion for Charles (& D!!) & feel the whole sorry thing was doomed to be fractious as best, tragic at worst. As it was. All to do now is be grateful for W&K strong seeming marriage & pairing!
      Theresa
      Australia

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    16. Anon July 25; at 9:17 PM. I've wondered the same thing, many times. Fact is, that apparently, it was Diana's intention to blast her family in the Morton book, but her go-between, James Colthurst, I think, talked her out of it. He probably felt that Diana couldn't afford to burn ALL of her bridges and should save one, just in case.

      My personal view is that, of course, Diana"s father and her maternal grandmother Fermoy, sacrificed Diana for the greater good of the Spencer family--position, honours, money--you name it, they were happy to take it

      I have, admittedly, compared the Spencers and Middletons. (Might as well keep up to date.) Sadly, the Middletons are apparently no better than than the Spencers, encouraging Kate, at every turn, to give William another chance, seemingly in order to marry off Daughter #2 to a rich man; I suppose that they're planning to leave their home and business to their only son.

      And in the meantime, to carry on the comparison, Diana had ZERO familial support, but a good deal of fiscal support. Kate SEEMS to have familial support.with ZERO fiscal support.

      I'm convinced that to survive marriage, and probable divorce, into, and out off, the British Royal Family, both fiscal and emotional support for the sacrificial lamb is required.

      Interesting, isn't it?

      JC

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  2. Ugh sorry - my first comment should have said "respect and fondness, for Camilla". Must proof read!

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    1. Respect and fondness for Camilla? Are you serious? There is no way those boys have respect and fondness for her. That's absolutely laughable.

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    2. I agree. I think there is a cordial relationship, sure, but I'm hard pressed to imagine Camilla on the floor of Anmner Hall playing with G&C or having a few beers with W&H in a casual setting.

      I say this with no real animosity toward Charles...I think if Diana were to have lived and found a (most likely) controversial partner, he probably wouldn't be welcomed into the inner circle so readily either. The boys have long memories, and while I think a majority of their feelings toward Charles and Diana are positive, there has to be that underlying resentment for what they went through at the hands of mom and dad....

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    3. @ Anonymous And you know them personally to be able to make such a statement? I think it is very obvious they have respect and warmth for her. They are grown men who, by all accounts, are generous and caring. They greet her in public with warmth and huge smiles. I don't think they are good enough actors to constantly be faking something that isn't there. William chose one of Camilla's granddaughter's as a bridesmaid which speaks volumes about their relationship. They have been mature enough to accept the relationship between the woman their father has loved his whole life. Maybe it is time the public, whom have never met these people, get off their high horses and do the same.

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    4. And how do you know that Anon? Your last heart to heart at KP?
      Here's an excerpt from an interview with Prince Harry, I suspect he has better insight than you.

      "To be honest with you, she's always been very close to me and William. But no, she's not the wicked stepmother. I'll say that right now.

      "Everyone has to understand that it's very hard for her. Look at the position she's coming into. Don't always feel sorry for me and William, feel sorry for her.

      "It's all different. We are very grateful for her. She's made our father very happy. We're very happy to have her around."

      Later he added: "She's a wonderful woman and she's made our father very, very happy, which is the most important thing. William and I love her to bits."

      Speaking about the Prince of Wales and Camilla he said: "They've settled in amazingly well. I wouldn't say he's a different person, but he's much more relaxed now. He still works as hard as he ever does."

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    5. Those boys loathe her. Harry made those statements when he was struggling with everything surrounding Diana's death and he wanted to please his Dad.

      Google interviews by Camilla's son. He lays it all out.

      Any woman that defends Camilla, I seriously question your morals and character.

      There is a reason William keeps his family well away from that woman.

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    6. By "defend" do you mean ankowledge that Camilla is a human being Anon 9:33? I seriously do not understand the immaturity of some commenters who see things as a zero sum game - Diana = saint and victim and Camilla = evil witch, or the idea that if you like and admire somebody you show you admiration by reflexively hating other women. I wonder what those commenters would be saying about Kate if Diana had lived because there is no way it would have been a totally peaceful relationship there.

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    7. Dear Anonymous 9.33,

      i think it is a little bit hard to say, that W&H hate Camilla. I think they like her. If they would loathe her - like you said - they would say nothing at all about her (my opinion). I don´t think somebody would have been able to persuade them to say such things. And Camillas granddaughter wouldn´t have been braidsmaid at the wedding of K&W.

      Of course there are difficulties between W&H and Camilla. She will always be the stepmother. I was very fond of mine, but i never was too close to her. And we had a lot of differences, because it is a difficult situation to be a stepmother... But i was very happy for my father and i was able to forgive her for the things she did to my mother. And i think W&H did so, too.

      We don´t know if William really keeps his family from Camilla and Charles. Perhaps it´s just because C&C have a very busy schedule.
      Do you know it for a fact?

      I am a woman with morals. And i will defend Camilla. I think it was wrong, that they betrayed Diana. But i think there was much more, that lead to the breakdown of the marriage. And it was the fault of both sides. Diana and Charles were never meant to be and perhaps they both knew it before and could have cancelled.

      But no matter what opinion you have about the marriage of D&C and who is to blame ... you should be able to forgive. If it´s you or W&H (i think they found peace with Camilla). They did some terrible things, but what would the world be if you can´t forgive?

      Camilla, Diana and Charles made the wrong choices. It is very sad that Diana died before she could find true love and forgive Charles.
      I think she would be able to forgive them simply because she is Diana. And after some time everybody sees, that there always two sides to blame. Not just one.

      VM

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  3. I will be watching tonight, probably with a huge lump in my throat.

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  4. When thinking of Diana, I believe people fail to really put into perspective how very young she was when she married and became a mother. Her early behaviors are driven by a real desire to be seen by her husband. I cannot imagine being trapped in a situation whereby my husband loved someone else and I felt I had no way out nor no one to support me. She cried out for someone to hear her anguish!! Charles was her first real relationship and she had been out with him maybe 12 times before engagement. Her actions remind me of high school jealousies and none of us should think we would have handled it any better than she did. I feel Diana's longings for love led her to that fateful night.

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    1. I agree she was young, but my mother married at 18. I don't think that's it. I think she was completely unprepared and immature. She had terrible childhood.
      I fault her family for not saying "you can't marry a man you barely know or have spent time with"
      They all got caught up in the "Diana's going to be Queen fantasy" and Diana was the head driver.

      And I have a hard time with Diana knowing she was so wounded by an affair that she went and had at least 2 affairs with married men. (That we know of)

      And William and Harry can remember all her best parts rightfully so, but do it privately, going on TV and acting like none of us know what you were all put through is not the right play. I think they both need private time with a good therapist. This is a bit like Diana's worst traits to me, go on tv and spin one very narrow side of a story.

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    2. Had you seen the broadcast prior to writing this, Anonymous 9:10 ? I assume so, since you are criticizing it.
      Perhaps you were a member of the press who had an advance preview. anon1

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    3. Anon 9:10,

      Did your mom marry someone in their 30s who kept their mistress, because that's what Diana contended with.

      As for her having affairs with married men after Charles refused to leave Camilla. The whole higher society was colluding with Charles to hide the affair - giving them houses to stay in, lying to Diana, the Queen knew of the affair, protection officers were lying to Diana, etc. I bet she felt like she went down a rabbit hole of crazy. She dealt with this stuff since the age of 19.

      When basically everyone is saying it's OK for Charles to have an affair while married and everyone does, Diana probably felt that she could too because that's what everyone was doing. No one was stopping Charles, they were helping him. Things become warped in sick, abusive situations. Diana was mirroring what was accepted and promoted around her since she was a teen. (Engaged at 19.) Diana's relationships with married men happened in her 20s. I think she realized what she was doing and stopped.

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    4. Diana's affairs with married men were into her 30's. Go look it up and come back to me.

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    5. Diana just turned 36 when she died. She dated Khan, unmarried heart surgeon, for several years before she died. Any affair she had with a married man was indeed in her 20s.

      I find it interesting that those attacking Diana fail to blame Charles for his reprehensible behavior and causing the breakdown of their marriage.

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    6. From ken Wharfe's book. He was Diana's PPO in case I have to mention. Diana was born in 1961 clearly I have to mention that too.

      "One night in 1992, at 3.30am, all the smoke alarms went off in Kensington Palace. I hared towards the Princess’s apartment but before I reached the door I discovered the source of the false alarm.

      Cowering naked behind a huge plant in the hallway, clutching a cigar, was Oliver Hoare. Diana, who hated the smell of smoke, must have sent him out of the bedroom.

      When Diana poured out her heart, as she often did to me, she would rage about Charles’s affair while oblivious to her own infidelities."

      From Julia Carling "It would be easy to say she's ruined my marriage" - Diana had affair with her husband in 1995 this was also confirmed by Diana's private secretary michael gibbons, at the inquest.

      Will I go on?

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    7. Diana didn't have an affair with Carling.

      But, please, do go on.

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    8. You also have to ask yourself why Diana's private secretary (think about that in relation to current events) why should a private secretary be asked about a deceased person's romantic history at an inquest into the circumstances surrounding an automobile accidental death?
      It sounds like Diana was on trial, the victim of an automobile accident. She was not driving nor did she own the car.

      Please keep in mind the couple separated several years before their divorce and both were living independent lives. In 1995 Charles was nearly living openly with Camilla at Highgrove.
      Above all, this film was her sons' delayed celebration of her life. They were too young to have much input into her funeral. Apparently, they didn't even choose to walk behind her casket.Who speaks ill of their loved parent in a memorial? Would you? At a celebration of your mother's life, would you say, "Hey, I loved Mum, but she really was an unstable, immoral woman." Is that how children memorialize their mother? No. You speak of the goodness and funny, happy memories. That's all this film is about, really. Two sons celebrating their Mum's life. anon1

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  5. I think this will backfire on William and Harry. already a court has ruled that the Diana speech tapes can finally be shown in Britain citing this interview that it's now set a precedent. They can't claim violation of privacy anymore. May sound cruel but hey that's harsh reality kids, you can't cherry pick what's private and what isn't.
    I also think Diana was way too complex a character for them to portray such a sanitized version. She caused them a lot of pain too, she had various lovers back to KP, aired their dirty secrets, badmouthed their father and grandmother. Williams headmaster told how excruciating that press and the panorama interview made his school years.
    And diana didn't see them for a month before her death!
    Charles and Diana both forgot the cardinal rule of divorce. First, do no harm to the kids. The kids always come first. So yeah she loved her sons of course, but she caused her sons an awful lot of pain too.
    The fairytale has been shattered multiple times and so much has come out since her death. trying to spin this again just doesn't work. IMO.

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    1. Agreed. I actually think this "documentary", or whatever it is, is to be proactive in "fighting" against all the other documentaries and stories that are fact based and unflattering of her. I think they love their mom and are on the defensive so it isn't just the negative stories making headlines.
      ~ A

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    2. I am a little younger than William so there was so much I didn't know and understand when she tragically passed. What I've learned since then, or what I believe based on what I've learned, is that BOTH Diana and Charles wanted to be deeply loved by each other. They BOTH came from dysfunctional backgrounds where they didn't have a mother's nurturing or love. They BOTH betrayed each other and betrayed their children. I know Diana was younger and Charles was more aware of how the BRF works; however, they were both looking for something in each other that didn't pan out and neither behaved appropriately.

      For me, a tragedy is that Diana didn't live long enough to (hopefully) find a steadfast loyal and loving partner. William did in Kate, Charles did in Camilla, and I hope Harry does. It is sad that Diana never found someone to be her perfect match and know how to work hard to make that work.

      I imagine Charles was shocked and hurt by what Diana did so publicly - he was used to loyalty and discretion. She in her fear and hurt and lack of coping lashed out horribly against the BRF and Charles, ultimately causing so much humiliation to her children. I imagine she had less of a support system and was desperate.

      I saw an Ivanka Trump interview where she said the press (photographers and headlines on papers) got so bad during her parent's divorce that her mom pulled them out of school, took them to Maralago and hired private tutors to keep them away from it all. Again, Ivana and Donald both played a role, but she tried to shelter her kids. Diana intentionally created a lot of those negative, humiliating headlines.

      Anyway, in summary, what happened to Diana is tragic. Everyday young children tragically lose their parents. Almost every other impacted child doesn't have to publicly visit memorials and walk behind their mother's coffin all on international TV. The victims here are William and Harry and every other child who suffers due to the tragic loss of a parent or is put in the middle of a nasty divorce.

      ~ A

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  6. I still feel a little embarrassed to say this but feel comfortable saying it anonymously, I am here for completely superficial reasons everyone! I liked Diana but I mainly liked watching her (as a teenager) cos she was gorgeous, wore amazing clothes, lived in a palace and had rich famous friends.
    I watch Kate for the clothes and the whole royal element adds to it. But it's not as "magical" as it was, first off I'm older, and I really don't think the royal family is all it's cracked up to be anymore.
    So I loved watching Diana, I really liked her too, but when stuff started coming out I was under no spell. It became clear that this woman was a bit Jekyll and Hyde no doubt about it. Only the most obsessed Diana fan could think otherwise.
    I'm glad William and Harry have such good memories and feel such love still, but they have some pretty bad memories too. So I'm just mixed on this whole thing. I'm not sure they did anything but stir the whole mess up again. Yeah they remind everyone of all her good traits, but then you get the "well hold on a minute" responses. And there's already been several not so flattering columns, of course it will tug at your heartstrings but is it really "good" ? Was it a smart thing to do?
    I don't know the answer. But I tend to think no. And I agree with the other poster who said this kind of is against William always claims he stands for. If you can share the last conversation you had with your mother, so intimate, what could possibly be offnlimits? I think in 10 years they'll regret this. We know way too much about Diana now it's way too late to try to rewrite it.

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    1. Did you watch the show? William was asked if he remembered the last conversation he had with his mother and he stated yes. He didn't go any further than that. The actual conversation was not revealed. No new earth shattering information was revealed so I don't know what you consider intimate details

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    2. Perhaps you saw a different version to the one I saw on ITV. William was asked if he remembered what had been said in his last phone call from his Mum. He said that he did remember, but did not disclose what that was.

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    3. To be fair, William didn't really share much about that final conversation. When pressed ("Do you remember what she said?"), all he responded with was "I do." Clearly, he still wants to keep those memories for himself and rightly so.

      I agree that this was very different than the William we've seen in recent years; he is notoriously silent as much as he can be. I think his brother's openness has been a major motivator for William to begin opening up more, though I'd be surprised if we saw something this intimate from him again for a long while.

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    4. I agree with so much of what you've said. I was in awe of Diana's beauty and her clothes. I did my best to copy her style. I believed she was a completely innocent victim in a horrible marriage. As evidence was presented which showed her role in the breakdown of the marriage, it was difficult to admit she was not perfect. I can now say she was far from perfect, but I will always ultimately blame Charles and Camilla.

      In my opinion, William and Harry are strangely blessed to have lost their mother when they did. That sounds awful, I know. But I believe Diana's life was spiraling downward and she was making very poor choices. Had she not died, who knows what kind of damage she might have inflicted on the BRF, including her sons. As it is, they are able to remember all of the good things about her without too much bad entering in. And that I see as a blessing.

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    5. I agree with what you said- I'm 10 years younger than Diana and followed her for years for the glamour of her life as a princess. I still follow the BRF because it is fun to see the jewels, clothes, palaces, etc. (and because I've always been interested in their history), but I agree that I don't feel the same "magic" with this generation- as you say, it may be because I'm older. I also agree that this interview wasn't a good idea, especially since they've been very vocal about preserving their privacy.

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    6. But he did not disclose the contents of the last conversation. He was asked if he remembered what was said and he said yes but made it clear it was for his memory.

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    7. But William didn't share the conversation. He was asked if he could remember it and said yes, but quite firmly in a way that indicated he was saying nothing more. He repeated that.

      There was a lot about Diana's charity work and they were clearly trying to provide a context for how William particularly feels about the paparazzi/press. I for one hope that message gets through to some people. The behaviour of the press was and is appalling. Both Diana and Kate had dreadful things shouted at them to get a response. Both had covert photographs taken of them sunbathing and in Diana's case in the gym. If I was William I don't think I'd let the press anywhere near my family.

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    8. If he didn't let the press anywhere near his family, his family would not be able to keep living in Anmer hall or a palace.

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    9. Anon: 10:14 - Anmer Hall and the Sandringham estate are privately owned by the queen. She gifted the house to W&K. Also, it has been pubically documented that William and Harry received a substantial inheritance when Diana died not to mention the private wealth of their father. So, I don't think they would have a problem maintaining their lifestyle without the press or their roles in the BRF.

      Lisa M.

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  7. The documentary was well done and focused on Diana's work as well as memories shared by her sons and others......we all cause pain to loved ones at some time or another because we are human. Diana should be remembered for the contributions she made just as we will want to be remembered when we are gone. She had not seen her sons for a month before her death because of the terms of the custody.........not because she did not want to see them. How unfair to criticize her for that!!

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    1. I thought she didn't see them for a month because of combined custody, charity work and her vacation. That part of the absence was her being busy with her life...although I do think some of her vacationing during that month was to keep herself busy while she didn't have custody.
      ~ A

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    2. Couldn't agree more!!!

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    3. THANK YOU for saying this. I've not wanted to start a big argument (as so often happens here) about the unfair criticism surrounding Diana not having seen her children for a month. They vacationed for a month with her and then, by terms of agreement, went to Balmoral for the annual royal family holiday each August. To suggest it was selfish of her to be on her own vacation while ignoring her boys is not only untrue, it is outright mean.

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    4. Wow, A, you are so wrong. Her busy life??? No. She loved her boys more than anything.

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    5. Chill out Anon 9:26. Hide behind anonymity and don't say anything or be more objective and back your point up. Busyness doesn't mean you don't love those most important to you. I agree she loved her boys more than anything, BUT I also think she had to make her life busy to fill her absences from them. With boarding schools and shared custody she always would have spent more time AWAY from them than with them. That so NOT a judgment of her parenting. I've also been watching a few Diana specials lately and they all reference how she busied herself with charity work following the divorce.
      ~ A

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    6. Also it's pretty clear Diana was not the hands on parent that say Kate is. Come on even William has admitted they spent most time with his nannies why he's so attached to them. And just listen to how they describe how she would be as grandma. Come in make a big scene then leave. Yes she loved her boys but she was a fun aunt basically. "Be naughty but don't get caught" please tell me what mom says that.

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    7. I had a bit of the same reaction, 7:58. I also wondered how well Catherine would've coped with someone stirring up her kids and then leaving. My view is Diana was looking for unconditional love and got it from her boys and the many ill, sad, homeless, scared, abused, and lonely people she touched. It's where her natural empathy had a powerful outlet. I wonder, though, how well she related to others who were not in need of succor. I wonder indeed what she would have made of the Middletons. MM

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    8. Despite the constant comparisons I have always thought that Diana and Kate have vastly different temperments, and I am not sure how smoothly things would have gone had William and Kate married with Diana still alive. Kate provides stability and a calming, grounding force in Williams' life. William himself described Diana as basically the complete opposite. I imagine they would all get along well enough, but there is no way that is would all be roses.

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  8. While I completely understand that Diana was complicated, and that her emotional instability might (or most definitely did) have a trying affect on W&H, you're going to be hard pressed to get them to speak ill of her. They know as well as we do the upheaval and drama of their childhood - no need to relive in in a documentary that was meant to highlight the positive impact this woman had on her boys and the world.

    I have to say, seeing William open up sort of took my breath away. As of late, we've heard from Harry a bit more than the reserved William. I was moved when hearing his passionate and strong words regarding the paparazzi who hounded his mother. It must have been cathartic for him to finally get some of those emotions off his chest.

    A bittersweet moment was when William was asked about George at the homeless shelter. It saddens me each day to think of Diana not getting to hear these little tidbits of life about her grandkids, but I'm happy that she raised William to be the sort to share the details easily with folks from all walks of life.

    I know it's been said a million times, but Diana would be so proud of her boys as they are today.

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    1. I don't think they should ever speak ill of her publicly of course not. Which is why I think it best not to speak at all. I think if they took part in a fair and factual documentary giving the side of her as mother, while others maybe injectednsome reality.
      But for him to talk about how she was chased by paps begs the follownup, "and what did you think of how she fed the beast that preyed on her?" She's just too complicated a historical figure at this point for these one sided pieces.

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    2. I think to suggest they should never speak of her in public is a bit unreasonable. William and Harry, along with Kate, have been making a huge push for openness and discussion this past year...to expect them to remain silent on something that connects them with SO many (childhood bereavement) would go against their newfound mission. It was time.

      There are enough documentaries and expose pieces out there; that is not what this show was about. What this documentary was about was two men who wanted to highlight the positive work their mother did for the world and how they themselves are continuing that legacy. Do I fully understand how complicated, emotional and volatile Diana was? Yep...but this was not the time nor platform for that type of discussion.

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  9. Having just watched it, I feel the boys did a nice job in paying tribute to their mum. I feel it must've helped in their grieving process. I think she would be very moved by it and very proud at the young men that they've become. Despite her problems and her human foibles, she was a singular person with unforgettable charisma. She'll be remembered for a long time, and I believe her boys wanted to put their two cents in--- because quite frankly, everyone who's ever known her, has done it before them. I'll analyze it further because I think a lot of what we think of William and Harry as individuals was forged in the cauldron of divorce and bereavement. I think I'll be watching this again. I hope they feel that their message was delivered with grace and dignity. I hope they feel a bit of closure.

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  10. I think remembering the good about a person who has passed helps those left behind deal with the loss and the world grieves still for the loss of Diana. This is healing. No body is perfect but her positive qualities and the good she did in her life can inspire others.

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  11. I have to say, if I were William or Harry I might not have done this. As previous comments note, Diana was young and was certainly a victim but she also didn't take the high road or protect the boys over all else. It's such a complicated story - for them and for everyone who looks at it critically - and also so tragic for Diana. She doesn't have to be seen as a pure hero for future generations, because she wasn't. So if I were these men I would try to drop that idea of her for my own sanity and would go with 'She was a beautiful person with a lot of flaws' and that complexity is impossible to portray to the public, so just don't try to portray anything at all to them. This will open cans of worms and already is.

    I've been in Paris for vacation this week and happened to jog by the tunnel where she died. It's made me reflect on her life. Certainly tragic and who can say they would have done anything differently than her, given her age and experience?

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    1. "This is a Fashion Blog," to quote someone in a past comment. Let's discuss fashion-or at the least, let's view the program and then give our impressions. Jane's focus in this post was the jewels that Kate wears that connect her to Diana (this is a Kate blog, after all) -we could discuss those and other Diana jewels. I think it was royalfan who gave us a site that listed Diana's jewels, complete with gorgeous pictures. I especially like the pearl chokers-the sapphire one, but they really don't blend with Kate's style. I was pleased to see her wearing that delicate bracelet on the tour and the pearl earrings at the State banquet. Those items are more in line with her style. I am intrigued by the ruby/red stone set. They look old to me and I wondered if Catherine would be given or loaned any of the Spencer collection. Did Diana receive any of her own Mother's jewels that were passed on to the boys?( I have to say, I can't recall if her Mother is still living) Or perhaps as a gesture from their uncle, Earl Spencer, after the Diana memorial that brought the two families together. Just a day-dream kind of thought. Probably not realistic. And I question whether she would wear them on a tour, if they were Spencer family heirlooms.



      William said this interview discussing their feelings about their Mum is a one-off. William does not intend to publicly talk about her again. He stated and was quoted as saying he is doing this to give the other side of the story of Diana; he even referenced the existence of other types of stories. --This story is Diana as his Mother: there are only two people who can authentically tell that story. I try to dwell on the happy memories of my Mother. It really is a healthier form of coping with a loss than constantly ruminating over failures. William has referred to his Mother's being imperfect. It is not as though he views only one side. This interview has been promoted as a sort of final public farewell to his Mum. Let him end it on a high note, if that is actually the tone of the interview. By now, some of you have seen it.
      No matter what those other books, articles, and interviews report from others involved, according to William, this is a first hand view of her sons' memories.
      What is the need to rummage through second and third-hand accounts here?
      This is their story. Let them tell it in peace.

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    2. "Let them tell it in peace."

      Amen.

      We never agree, anon1, but this is twice in just a few posts. What is happening?!? Haha

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    3. Never say never.
      I suppose we both feel for Diana's boys and think fair is fair, no matter what your circumstances. anon1
      Or not.

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  12. At the end of the day, we all know what we know given all the publicity during Diana's life. Having said that, William and Harry have the right to remember their Mother any way they choose. They have made a documentary to memorialize and to express the great love they felt from their Mother during her short time with them, while also emphasizing the same affect she had on total strangers around the world. They do not need to analyze their feelings or Diana's behavior...it has been done Ad nauseam by all the rest of us for years. She was incredibly lovely, despite her human foibles, and her sons seem to have inherited many of her best qualities.

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  13. I watched the documentary last night and I enjoyed it. William and Harry have every right to discuss their mother, whenever and where ever they want to. I think its a bit tacky to try and police how someone should grieve and remember a dead loved one.

    Hasen't it been determined that those sapphire earrings were not Diana's? Kate's earrings are cabochon sapphires and Diana's were faceted. Its not the same stone.

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    1. The Duchess had some cabochon earrings during the first part of her marriage but the earrings Jane featured here are faceted and are definitely either exact copies or those worn by The Princess of Wales. They've only been altered to change the drop which happens all the time with royal jewelry.

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    2. Oh ok. I didn't realize there were two different pairs. Thanks for the info

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  14. I think your mom would be very proud of both of you. Just as she did then and is doing now. You are both good role models for others. Keep up the wonderful effort, it doesn't go unnoticed!

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  15. When my father died a friend told me what made her mother's death difficult to bear: "The world didn't stop. People my mother or my family didn't know went about their daily lives as though the world was the same. But the world had changed forever." I noticed I had those feelings ocassionally myself although nearly not as strongly as my friend had. That situation did not happen to W&H. The world DID stop. 

    My point is not to compare losses and grief experiences but simply to say our own grief is always unique and different from what others experience. Will said his grief was harder and different from other people's because the world was watching. I can understand that but I can also understand my friend's pain from realizing the world WASN'T watching or even aware of her loss. Sudden losses like Diana's don't allow good-byes to be said and can leave regrets to be worked through. Losses from Alzheimer's (AKA "the long good-bye") or a slow death from cancer may allow needed things to be said but close relatives may have prayed for a quicker end to their loved ones' suffering leaving feelings of guilt to be worked through. 

    I understand W&H don't want their mother "air-brushed from history." I don't think that will happen and when he is king I am sure Will will take actions to ensure that can't happen. I do wonder about this film though. Certainly they are the only ones who can describe the personal experience of being Diana's sons. But despite the title, that isn't likely the main purpose of the film. I can't know why they have chosen to do this but if one goal is to ensure young people "know Diana" as Will has seemed to suggest, I am not sure that goal will be met. People (like me!) who were aware of her during her life may feel as though we knew her personally even if we never met her or even laid eyes on her outside of photographs. Fine (although obviously not true!) But young people who weren't aware of Diana during her life may not even watch the film in large numbers. And no matter what, they won't have a personal emotional connection or necessarily experience feelings of loss that I think are hoped for by Will. Their world won't stop. Instead they can only have an intellectual "historical" view (much like any of us might have of an equally complicated historical figure like Mary, Queen of Scots.)  And a sanitized version of Diana is not likely to go unchallenged (and sometimes challenged by her own words.) Perhaps this film is intended to fight against other views already out there but I doubt it will go unanswered prolonging the public back and forth about Diana.

    I honestly think personal therapy is still needed for both W&H but especially for Will given some of his statements and actions. While W&H will always feel grief, 20 yrs is a long time for unresolved issues to fester. And time that could be spent sharing memories (say with Diana's family) MAY have been squandered by not talking about the loss privately (as at least Harry said he did not until quite recently.) It's a good thing IMO for W&H to be comfortable mentioning Diana in public. It's a good thing to tell family stories to PG & PC (within certain limits. Many families talk about ancestors to younger family members although turning the talk into regular bedtime stories may not be common.) It's not so good IMO for unresolved issues of grief to play out in public. It's not likely to be beneficial as personal therapy would be and it may be regretted down the road.

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    1. 20 years is a long time for this too fester? Really??

      Do you even realize everything that Harry has discussed about seeking help (therapy)? Do you know that one of Diana's best friend's is a grief counselor and became so close to William that she is a godparent to George?

      Your comments IMO are so off the mark, I'm speechless.

      Bravo to William and Harry and this show.

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    2. Lizzie I so agree with your first sentiments. The hardest thing about death is thinking "how are people still going about their business don't they know my heart is broken"
      ThankYou for the reminder.

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    3. Anon 10:12. Thanks!

      Anon 9:24, Harry has spoken about receiving counseling fairly recently only *after* suffering panic attacks while in the military. Further, he has said he did not speak of Diana for many years after her death because talking "wouldn't change anything." I did not know that one of Diana's best friends was *Will's* grief counselor. If that is what you are suggesting, that relationship has not been reported widely, for sure. And if it is true, honestly one has to wonder how the counselor could maintain her professional boundaries and offer effective help given that she was a close friend of the deceased! If she did "professionally counsel" Will while experiencing her own grief, then I am left speechless. There is a reason professional ethics in all helping professions caution against that kind of conflict. But regardless of whatever help W&H have received in the past (and it was reported Charles obtained counseling for them at the time Diana died), dealing with grief in a therapeutic setting is often not a one-and-done situation, particularly when the bereaved are teenagers at the time of loss. As they age and enter new situations like marriage and encounter "milestone death anniversaries" (like the 20th) underlying unresolved issues may become more prominent. It is fairly clear to me (and not terribly surprising) that both W&H likely have unresolved issues. I could list a number of indicators but here are just a few. 

      It has been widely reported that at the beginning of the work on the documentary both W&H said they could not remember very many details about Diana. Neither was a young child (say, under 8) when she died so that lack of memory was quite unusual. And it suggests blocking of memories for emotional reasons--grief that has been worked through isn't likely to involve walling off of memories. The photograph albums that helped trigger the happy memories reported in the documentary apparently had been in storage since her death. As teenagers when Diana died they likely would not have had much of a hand in what was and what wasn't stored.  But they are now men in their 30's. The fact that they have only recently looked at the albums suggests unresolved issues. Will also said "We *now* have pictures of Diana around the house..." suggesting he did not have those before. That suggests unresolved issues. Both W&H have exhibited possible substance abuse behaviors in adulthood. Often there are underlying reasons for those---- unresolved grief and anger are biggies. Will's dislike of intrusive photographers may be expected and somewhat "normal" given the circumstances. But his threat that people attempting to photograph George in public might be shot doesn't suggest all is A-OK emotionally. Will has been quoted as saying his ambulance work has been emotionally difficult. That is normal in certain professions (and professional help should be made available without stigma, not just within-team chats) but remember Will's unwillingness to listen in on a crisis call during the mental health visit last year? He said something like it was because he was struggling alot at work. Given that he worked only part-time and given he wasn't a medic, one has to wonder about other issues intruding. Finally, a big argument for a huge amount of financial compensation for pain and suffering caused by the publication of Kate's topless/nude photos in France was that the situation made Will relive his mother's death. That may have been a legal strategy and not true. But assuming the legal argument was true (as certainly ought to be the case!) that suggests unresolved grief as did his intense anger. I am not defending the photos in any way. Of course, they were upsetting. But upsetting mainly to Will not Kate? And upsetting for that reason?

      I have a great deal of sympathy for both W&H for their loss but stand by my belief their griefwork is far from complete.  

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    4. To not too - correction.
      9:24

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  16. I was in my early 20s when Diana died. For those too young to remember much about her, it is no exaggeration to say the world stopped when she died. Literally stopped. We had seen her grow from a 19 year old to a 36 year old mom of two.

    Charles was responsible for the break-up of that marriage, pure and simple. Diana did everything she could to stop him and he simply refused. He was a man in his 30s getting engaged to a 19 and then using her, lying to her, and mentally and emotionally abusing her.

    Anyone who defends Camilla, I must question what they share in common with her. She broke up two families and no, I think the boys loathe her.

    The boys were right to do this program. Any tapes or anything else coming out, we have heard it all before. It's the anniversary that's bring all that out, not the boys' show.

    I think the show also marks a real maturity and a watershed moment for the boys. They are speaking from their hearts about the most devastating part of their lives. They are standing up to their Dad (in his vast selfishness and immaturity) and publicly claiming their Mom as the best. Charles, as the parent of boys who have been utterly devastated by their loss, should support and praise them. But he won't.

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  17. I thought the documentary was beautifully done, a loving tribute from Diana's sons to their beloved mother. Was she a flawed lady? Of course, as we all are, but her attributes and contribution to society, far outweighed any negativity. So much has been written about Diana, mostly by people who never knew her, or only knew her briefly. It is refreshing to hear a perspective from her son's point of view.

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    1. Lovely comment, Tedi. I agree, it was so heart-warming to hear the boys speak so highly of their mother & her legacy.

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  18. I am glad William &Harry did this. Diana was their mother and they are protecting her memory. N.Lopez

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  19. When Diana died, everybody thought about William and Harry and wondered what they were going through. People genuinely cared about their loss and wanted to see them. When they went to Canada with their father, they were treated like rock stars. Every now and then as the years went on, one of them would refer to their childhood and mention something about their mother, but they never really said what it was like for them.

    I think this was a good idea to have this documentary. It was good for them and for their children, in Harry's case, future children. I liked that William said they felt they should do it but that this would be the only time. They won't be doing it again. It's like a window of light is passing over right now and once it's past, that will be it. It will be in history like this. I'm sure over the years, they will mention things as they go along, but I appreciate knowing what they've been through. It means they want to help people who've lost a parent or other loved one. I think it shows they care about others. Diana would have been very proud of that.

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    1. Well said!!

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    2. Good points. I agree.

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  20. I will never understand the people, who only blame Charles and Camill.

    My parents seperated when I was 5 years old. They divorced when I was 15, just because the were fighting against each other a rose war. Same did Charles and Diana.

    I think it is wonderful to remember Diana in the documentary as W&H did. It´s a documentary about Diana as Mother and Princess who took great efforts in social things. But no matter what - W&H will also remember the things Diana did to their father and what their father did to Diana during the divorce. But they will - understandably - not speak in public about it. Sadly it will support the opinion of those, who assume that W&H hate C&C.

    I don´t get why so much people think the princes hate Charles and Camilla? I am sure they know that their mother was no saint and all sides did terrible things. If they couldn´t be able to forgive them, they wouldn´t be the children of Diana and would lead a very triste life.

    Why can´t the people forgive C&C? Forgiveness doesn´t mean to approve with adultery. Forgiveness means to find peace and to accept, that nobody is perfect and that some things happened.

    I have huge respect for Diana for her social contributions etc. But i also have great respect for Camilla, because she ist doing the same things without the recognition Diana would get.

    It´s sad, that all the Diana-worshipper can´t forgive C&C - worse: assume that W&H hate them. In my opinion Diana would - after some time - forgive them.

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    1. No respect for an adulterous person who shows no remorse for the pain they have caused. Sorry, never going to happen.

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    2. Diana was an adulterous person as well. Did she show remorse for the pain her affairs caused?

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    3. 10:09, when Camilla walks through a mine field, is the first public figure to shake hands with someone who has a disease the whole world believes can be spread by contact, and visits homeless people in the middle of the night in the worst of circumstances, then, and only then, can you say she's doing the same things Diana did. Camilla is a ribbon cutter with her name on the letterheads of some charities. She dons her jewels and shows up at parties.

      By all accounts from both camps in the Wales's marriage, Camilla encouraged Charles to marry Diana because he needed someone virginal (or "kept tidy" as Diana said) to bear him an heir. She was one of the ring leaders who lead the lamb to the slaughter along with the Queen Mother and her BFF, Diana's despicable grandmother, Ruth, Lady Fermoy. It was also Diana's wicked grandmother who was so concerned with social climbing that she took the royal family's side and testified against her own daughter (Diana's mother) in court so she would lose custody of her children who could then be raised at Sandringham next door to the royals. Camilla and Charles cheated on each of their spouses for over a decade and destroyed to families in the process. Diana was a 19 year old pawn in a very ugly game of chess. Did she make her own mistakes after feeling isolated and betrayed? Yes. Was she sometimes an emotional mess? Who wouldn't be given the tug of war her parents played with her and her brother and then the tug of war with Camilla for the love of her own husband? She was a flawed individual who, no matter how much material wealth she had, never had a wealth of emotional support. Everyone who actually knew her has said she was very insecure about relationships. What she did have was an enormous amount of love for her boys and they for her. They certainly deserve to share their feelings about that love on the 20th anniversary of her death.

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    4. @ 5,16

      Well,i appreciate your opinion and i understand your point. Nonetheless i think they do similar things in a different way. If Camilla would do the same as Diana, everybody (an i think you would be one of the first) would say she is copying Diana (for good reason). Same with Kate.

      Diana was much more present in the media and her field of activity was much more media-effective. She was young, beautiful and involved in a traggic marriage with the crown-prince of the United Kingdom. And she was charismatic.

      To clarify: she did wonderful things and i admire her for her contribution. And I am absolutly sure she didn´t do it for media regard (which is a positive side effect for the issues she highlighted). But no matter what she did - it was gold for the media. Everything was covered and spread to world. The result: everybody knew/knows what she did!

      But Charles and Camilla are doing the same.
      Camilla is engaged in several subjects for years - she is not a ribbon cutter with her name on the letterheads - as you said. Since 1994 she is part of the National Osteoporis Society. She is also raising awarness for victims of rape/sexual abuse.
      If you are dealing with such subjects you won´t gain nice/sweet/controversial headlines for the press and public. It´s pretty boring and you can´t sell papers. Plus - Camilla isn´t a young and polarizing. The media won´t report much about it.
      You just have to compare the number of her engagements and the number of the headlines in favour of the issues she is adressing...

      They have two different starting points and two different characters.
      But Camilla will never get attention for her subjects and will never get recognition for her efforts. And i think she and her charities would deserve it. She is and will never be a Diana-type. But nonetheless you have to admit she took efforts to highlight controversial themes, too. But she won´t, can´t and shouldn´t in the same way as Diana.

      And if you think she is only showing up at parties - please do some research. I don´t think you are following her social engagements. So please, don´t say she isn´t interacting and takting efforts.

      "They certainly deserve to share their feelings about that love on the 20th anniversary of her death." -

      i don´t know why you assume, that i think, they didn´t deserve it.

      I just said, that it will the support the opinion of these people, who assume W&H hate C&C. It´s a negative sideeffect. But that doesn´t mean, they shouldn´t do the show.

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    5. Anon 5:16, AMEN.

      I read your comment aloud to my "better half" and he said, "Wow, that sounds like YOU." :-)

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  21. I have seen the documentary about Diana and was quite moved by it. Although it hasn’t been aired in Canada, I watched it on YouTube. I thought it was a lovely tribute with views from people I haven’t heard from before, not least being William and Harry. Aside from them though, I was interested in the comments by Mr. Herbert and Diana’s friend, can’t remember her name right now. Diana’s friend made a point of saying that she particularly sees Diana’s empathy in the “Duke of Cambridge” – that he has a way with people very reminiscent of his mother. Mr. Herbert also said that he sees a lot of Diana in both William and Harry. To me, these comments from people who know Diana and her boys far better than any of us do, confirms that far from being a reluctant heir, William is simply a little more cautious than his mother and his brother. From his comments about the press, I believe William shows a very different side of himself to those he meets in person through his work and charity than he does through the press encounters. When you think about it, William is the same age as Diana was at her death (almost). Diana changed from the early days of her marriage to the day she died. She grew up, matured, gained confidence (after the divorce) and was coming into her own. William seems to be doing that as well. He’s found Kate, had children, had a stint working a “normal” job and now he is ready to settle into learning his royal role. Charles was a playboy before he married Diana – was about William’s age when he married. It’s only since Diana’s death that Charles has really become “royal”. Why are we so critical of William I wonder?
    I thought it was a thoughtful, dignified, fitting tribute to Diana by her children and close friends. That’s what it was supposed to be and I think it was very successful.

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    1. I very much agree with everything you have said, Jane. I think it was quite cathartic for W&H to open up about their mother. Hearing from Diana's friends also, gave some insight into what she meant to those closest to her.

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  22. I watched the feature last night and was underwhelmed. I do understand the need to walk a fine line between what was publicly shared and what was privately experienced. And I'm sure that some of this will bring the people who loved Diana {I wasn't one of them} a lot of pleasure in seeing a small snippet of a part of her life they previously had not. However, I feel like voyeurism is a huge problem in our culture today, and it has only worsened since the 1990s. Creating this "documentary"...I'm not sure it actually was one...may provide some benefit, though I'm truly not sure what. But I wonder if it's just adding to the media cacophony and reinforcing a public expectation for private information. I feel this step by William and Harry is very incongruent; and I sense I'm not the only one, having read through the comments.

    On a different note, those of us who are/have been married know how hard it is. And those of us who married in our early 20s know how much growing as a person you do through your 20s into your 30s, not to mention all the life changes that happen when you start adding children to the mix. Setting blame of a divorce on one person is not honest. Whenever there is a conflict, (in marriage, in friendship, at work) it is never just one person's fault and no single person can "fix it." As one who has benefited from therapy, I cannot imagine having to do all this growth in the eyes of the world. That is a unique burden and it sounds like we all agree on that. I'm not sure how Royal Life can be done better in the 21st century. Perhaps that is the road William will have to forge when he becomes king.

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    1. Therapy, many times, tries to teach people that there is blame on all sides even in abusive relationship. This is very destructive. It takes a strong Dr./therapist not to be wishy washy and be truthful about the situation, most are not like that.

      More often than not a divorce happens mainly because of the actions of one partner - an affair, an addiction, or abuse. To try and lay blame with both parties in these situations is sick. It may not fit your politically correct narrative but it is the truth.

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    2. I agree with your insight into marriage but I think when one person goes into a marriage being dishonest to the other person, they need to accept most of the blame. Sometimes the blame is primarily on one person such as a serial cheater. In the Catholic church, that is enough to warrant an annulment.

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    3. Rachel with all due respect that is a hugely naive viewpoint. As the other anons have said there can be extenuating circumstances that do shift the blame on person primarily. When one party in the marriage has a mistress on the side whom he slept with three nights before the wedding, I think that odds are that even a saint could not make the marriage work. Please don't whitewash the context of this marriage. It is dishonest and cruel to paint this marriage with the same brush that you would paint any other.

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    4. To add to anon at 7.32 I would argue that bringing Diana into this marriage was itself an act of emotional abuse. From the outset Camilla was present in the marriage, hovering over their shoulders, always available as a shoulder that Charles could cry on. They toyed with Diana's insecurities and painted her as unhinged.
      I ask those who are so quick to condemn Diana - how would you feel if your husband or SO had someone like that, who he could run to whenever things got tricky between you two.

      Rachel, yes, marriage is difficult to navigate and people are able to successfully build one when both people are PRESENT in the marriage and committed to making it work. Not when one checks out at the first sign of trouble. Diana had difficulties but a man who truly loved her would have helped her overcome them. Diana is not the only woman to enter a marriage with emotional baggage. It is actually very common. Instead of working with her Charles ran to Camilla from day one.
      Rachel, how exactly do you think YOU would have handled such a relationship? Sitting down with Charles and telling him to "give up" Camilla ? As if that would have worked. The wilful ignorance of the facts of the CCD triangle by some women makes me wonder what kind of roles you all have played in the lives of others that you are so ready to ignore and/or forgive the role that Camilla and Charles played from day one. In my opinion if Diana's fault was 10, Charles' fault was 1000. There is simply no comparison.

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  23. Well I watched the documentary on Youtube last night. For me, it was not so much about Diana as it was about William and Harry. For what might be the first time, they spoke openly about the impact her death had on them. It showed two brothers who had a mother who loved them unconditionally something that I believe all children need to grow with a sense of self confidence. This is likely more true when raising a child who will be a member of the Royal Family where every member of the public is going to have an opinion on you. And alot of them unfavorable.

    Seeing how much they treasured their time with their Mother and knowing that it was cut painfully short helped my understand why William put such emphasis on being an active parent in PC and PG's life. I am pleased that William has the love and happiness of his own family and I hope that Harry very soon finds the same.

    I recently watched a Youtube video of William doing a walkabout in Poland. It was taken by someone in the crowd..and I was really impressed with his graciousness and sincerity. Somone asked him for an autograph and he so kindly said "I am sorry but I can't sign that for you" (I am sure that is a rule within the BRF). He handled it extremely well. And then seeing him at the homeless shelter in the documentary...once again his empathy and approachability was amazing. Everyone say Harry is like his mother but I see alot of her in William as well. I think he will make a fine King when the time comes.

    Dianna had many roles, ..wife, husband, princess, champion of many important causes...but this documentary was primarly about her role as Mother. It was the view of her sons, and I appreciated them sharing it.

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  24. Rachel, I really appreciate your thoughtful comments and agree 100% with what you have said.

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  25. I don't think anyone here has mentioned that Harry was quoted as saying that William tried over and over to get Harry to seek help, but Harry was not ready. I believe this remark was part of the picnic table discussion with William, Harry, and Catherine around the time of the marathon or some other Heads Together event---OK2Say. So it wasn't really twenty years of silent 'festering" on the subject. William did say he had counseling and tried to encourage Harry. I think both were fairly clear in earlier statements that there was no Charles prompted therapy. In fact, recent interviews emerging from that infamous middle of the night staff meeting hinted that Diana's boys were sharing too much. The source was said to be palace connected. In fact, I believe there were remarks at one point that indicated that their feelings about Diana were not an encouraged topic of discussion in the household of Charles and Camilla, (to the point that photos of her were not displayed, according to some sources) However, the boys were obviously sharing thoughts with each other.

    William has only said he would like the younger generation to be acquainted with his Mother's life. I have not read anything not did I hear any statement in the film that indicated he had expectations or "hope" of the younger viewers feeling any loss or any emotion, for that matter. It is a simple fact that when I bring up David Niven or Adalai Stevenson, for example, I am often met with blank looks from younger friends. Diana may be in this same category as those persons as far as teens go--older, I think most have at least heard of her.

    I am not sure, judging from content of some comments, that a few of the critics of the sons' tribute film actually have viewed the film. It was not presented as a public grief exorcism for the two. There was actually sadness over a failed marriage after such hopeful beginnings and for a life that still held promise of good things being snuffed out. But no out-pouring of grief by her sons.

    Most of all, I felt the film was a celebration of her life, to use a popular phrase. The divorce was mentioned; the out-pouring of public grief shown--but there was little overt grief shown by either son. They were telling a story. A sometimes difficult one.

    I will say that Lizzie is probably right that that younger generation may not see the film, (unless their parents or grandparents happen to be watching it.) And I do think it was a little smaltzy in places--I could have done without some of the background music. I doubt William chose that. I think this documentary, and I do think it qualifies as such, -I think the writers and producers likely were going for an emotional response, but I don't think their matter-of-fact remarks indicated William and Harry were going for that.. The film did bring a few tears to my eyes. I don't think to this day that I actually shed tears over my own Mother's death, so that is interesting to me. Perhaps a few of those tears were for her. It has been twenty years this Fall since my Mom died and grief is still there, just below the surface. To not acknowledge that would be denial. For quite awhile after I would start to pick up the phone, wanting to share some incident with her. I think that is a form of grief. Regret for not saying or saying certain remarks is an expression of grief. It isn't all about tears and hand-wringing. If there was grief in the beginning, it will not just go away.
    Somewhere I read, perhaps in a poem, that there is a grief beyond tears. Tears are mostly for the one left, what will happen now, how will I manage.
    anon1

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  26. Diana was beautiful inside and out - I adored her, I miss her and I love William and Harry for keeping her memory alive- Linda

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  27. I watched the documentary last night and was extremely moved by it. What a wonderful tribute to Diana. She touched so many lives and made a difference to so many people. I think this is what WILLIAM and Harry were trying to show - that she was more than just a beautiful woman who dressed up in gowns and tiaras. Her real legacy was her impact on the many causes she supported. She was a trailblazer in so many areas- homelessness, AIDS, land mines, etc. I do not agree with some of the comments that some folks have about this documentary. I don't think they were whining or that the documentary overly focused on their grief. I thought it was a wonderful balance between their private memories and the memories from those that she touched through her work. I also can see now why William and Harry feel the way they do about the press. Seeing how Diana was hounded by the press was very disturbing. I can only imagine how as children William and Harry felt to see the position their mother was in. The ski vacation where they weren't left alone was very sad. Yes, I know they have tremendous privileges but does that mean they are not allowed any private moments outside of castle walls? It's no wonder they are so reticent with the press today. I really don't blame them. It was a beautiful tribute to their mother who they recognized touched many, many people in such a positive way. What a wonderful way to remember her!

    Lisa M.

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    1. Thank-you, Lisa. You reminded me when I shed those tears. It was during the scenes of her visits to the homeless and the AIDs patients-not during the memories of her death. More for them than for Diana. There was so much beauty in the people in those shelter and hospice scenes. It also brought back memories of her kindness and warmth. anon1

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  28. I thought it was a lovely documentary and so obviously very poignant. I think if I were in William and Harry's shoes, it would have been a very difficult process to have gone through (at one point at the start of the documentary, I thought Harry was going to cry). Having to face their grief, and talk about it all so candidly must be enormously emotional. What comes across again and again, is her unique gift with people from all walks of life - she certainly was possessed of an rare emotional intelligence that few have or have had since her passing. I loved how this was the primary focus of the documentary, her humanitarian efforts and her obvious role as a mum to her boys, rather than the other more sadder parts of her life.

    I was lucky enough to visit Kensington Palace lately and view the Diana exhibition there - her fashion story - it was a small but beautifully curated event - seeing her clothes up close and in the flesh was very surreal. From her innocent engagement tweeds of Balmaloral to her gloriously beaded Versace gown that Mario Testino famously photographed (that is also briefly glimpsed in the documentary) - there has not and will not be anyone like her - even 20 years on, she is so deeply missed. The princes feel it- as does the whole world.

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    1. Susan you have so beautifully captured the spirit of this documentary. I too saw the small Diana exhibition at Kensington Palace and had the same feelings. On this 20th anniversary of her death it's so lovely that her much loved sons have chosen to honor her memory by sharing their own. Her humanitarian work was above and beyond, her empathy unmatched. There were very sad parts of her life but there were also so many positive things. It was revealing when William talked about the press intrusion and commented that nobody could imagine the things that went on and that it shows how it can go so wrong when you let them get to close - on both sides.

      I am utterly stunned, in a way I absolutely cannot wrap my head around, at those who think this was not a good idea and who have been so critical of this documentary. Her sons did not say she was perfect but they said over and over that they always felt and still feel her love for them. If she never did anything else in her life, she achieved the greatest height any human can reach in that her children always knew that she loved them above anything else.

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    2. 1000 x YES to your last paragraph.:):)

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  29. The best summary of Diana I've seen is piers morgans column the other day. Go read it. Yes she was fabulous and had a heart of gold but he lays out her tricks of the trade and two faced nature. Jekyll and Hyde indeed. I was confused just by reading it, I can't imagine what dealing with her in person was like.

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    1. Piers Morgan? Enough said.

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  30. Beautifully said. Although very difficult for W& H, I think it was greatly important to them to honor their Mom. They are finally at the right time in their lives to publicly pay tribute to her.

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  31. My own two cents after watching the tribute and following the "conversations" on the internet...

    I was quite impressed with the program. Without a doubt, "Diana's boys" are her legacy. Their approach to life, both public and private (certainly in William's case since he is married), has her fingerprints all over it. She would be so very proud of these fine young men. Kudos to them for putting together this lovely tribute and thank goodness they are old enough to take the reigns where Diana's legacy is concerned; just consider the countless attempts to re-write history since her death...

    And I find it significant that Charles Spencer was invited to contribute. Had the boys objected to his treatment of their mother, or his powerful eulogy, he would not have been included.

    I agree wholeheartedly that Charles was the main reason for the breakdown of the marriage; Diana was very much in love and wanted to create and enjoy a happy family life with her husband. He, on the other hand, got married out of a sense of duty and Camilla remained in the picture throughout Charles' relationship with Diana. The playing field was never level; different people with very characters and intentions.

    Sure, Diana had some insecurities based on her childhood, but did this make her so unique? Would someone with an idyllic childhood be better prepared to deal with the extraordinary circumstances Diana found herself in? And if someone *is* prepared to blame her, then I do wonder how you would have dealt with the reality of your husband's former girlfriend playing the role of confidante while he is courting/engaged/married to you? How would you deal with him giving her jewelry before he walks down the aisle with you? Imagine him bringing her photo on your honeymoon... How does ANY marriage survive a third party being readily available to provide a sympathetic shoulder and reassurance that you are correct and your spouse is wrong?

    The humiliation that Diana endured was extraordinary and, to add insult to injury, there was an ongoing campaign to make her out to be at fault in order to garner sympathy for Charles. Diana had quite a battle on her hands and throughout her marital difficulties she feared losing access to her boys. Don't take my word for it; all of this has been documented and I am not referring to tabloids.

    Continued...

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  32. 2 of 2

    And if Diana was to blame, what about Charles? Do you think he was raised to be a supportive and nurturing husband and father? Or is it more likely that the world revolved around him from the moment he took his first breath and he fully expects it to continue until he takes his last? He may love his boys, but his priorities were elsewhere and I think the program confirms this without actually "going there".

    I'd also like to point out that if Diana was as flawed and fragile as some people have suggested, then how is it that she made a conscious decision to end the cycle (regarding her own childhood) by giving her sons all the love and encouragement that she had to offer? This required recognition and commitment on her part. And how did she accomplish all that she did in her short life? Did the world respond to her death as it did because she was pretty...or because she was an incredibly gifted and caring human being who wanted to do good in this world...and accomplished it?

    Regarding the boys' relationship with Camilla... I believe they have been diplomatic and accepted that which they cannot change, both for their father's sake and for the sake of their grandmother whom they love and respect. As far as Camilla's granddaughter being in the wedding party, well, I see it as more of the same; diplomacy for the sake of the family...and a desire to not turn a very special day into a source of speculation and gossip. Considering the ongoing efforts to make Diana out to be a disturbed human being, and the most recent attempts to rewrite history in C&C's favor (in addition to some of the Middleton bashing that I have my suspicions about), I seriously doubt that there is any warmth between the boys and Camilla. IMO, there's a reason William referred to two grandmothers and it isn't because he cannot count. The obvious omission speaks volumes.

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    1. I was starting to worry a little royalfan. I should have known you would choose to offer more than a knee-jerk analysis. Ha!
      I mean to watch the film again with a more objective eye. Your last two sentences sort of stopped me in my tracks. Of course Grandma Carole, probably the very model of a Grandma-I love how she has in the past been seen in casual dress, no make-up, hair flying about, and certainly no jewels, out and about with George. I worry those days of enjoying Carole in her Grandma role may be gone. On second thought, that might be a good thing; most of those were paparazzi shots.
      And of course, Diana.
      No one else need apply. I imagine there is a furor going on behind closed doors about the things not said. I only hope that William is not put into a position requiring back-tracking or dissembling." Of course I was just speaking of blood-grandmas at the time. The third one is understood." Or some hastily got up outing /photo-op with the Cambridge family and a grinning C&C.
      This comment was over, I thought. I have taken a hard look at the feelings that crop up when Camilla is mentioned. Sometimes they seem irrational, as I don't personally know the woman and who knows which stories to believe? There is kindness and forgiveness to consider-what I have asked for Diana.
      I think what makes my teeth itch when her name is mentioned is that, after the C&C public act of contrition in church-which had HM's fingerprints all over it and was probably some requirement from the Anglican Church for marrying a divorced person...after she was safely ensconced in her royal slot, and when William and Catherine were seen as a rising royal force,
      the "insider, palace, those familiar with..." leaks and stories critical of the Middletons, Kate, and now even William began. There is a statement by a newsman that Camilla was a source for some stories. While William, Catherine, and the Middletons continue to remain gracious in public. How many Camilla critical stories make their way into the news?

      You are right, royalfan. Volumes-except I hear shouting, not speaking. anon1

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    2. I would like to comment on your last point.

      "here's a reason William referred to two grandmothers and it isn't because he cannot count."

      I don´t think we should assume they hate Camilla, because of the statement.

      I have a stepmother and no matter how much i like her - she will never be the grandmother. She stepped into my life, when i was 14. So she never played an active mother-role. So there is no reason, why she should be a grandmother. And she never would want to be one. She has her own child and will have her own grandchildren.

      For me that´s an explaniation for William´s statement. He and his brother have a mother: Diana. And Camilla would never take that place - and W&H wouldn´t let her.
      So when Camilla wasn´t a mother (for oblivious reasons) to W&H why should she be a grandmother to G&C ?

      But it doesn´t mean there is no warmth between them.

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    3. There is no warmth between them.

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    4. A lot of the current behavior of shoving Camilla in everyone's face is due to the Penny Junor biography about her. So tacky to release it the year of the 20th anniversary of Diana's death. Penny Junor has been part of C&C's inner circle since the beginning. She never liked Diana and has always pushed Charles's side of the story. Again, so tacky and insensitive to release this bio this year and it smacks of a C&C stunt because the very last thing they want is for people to remember how loved Diana was and what jerks they are. It's also a slap to W&H during the time they are remembering and honoring their mother. Then again, if they cared about the children more than themselves this would all be a moot point. God save The Queen because the longer she lives the shorter Charles's reign will be.

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    5. Anon1, do you also hear fine china crashing as it hits the floor? :-)

      4:06, I get where you're coming from and I respect it. But is it safe to assume that your stepmother did not play a similar role in your mother's life as Camilla did in Diana's? A "slightly" different scenario, no?

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    6. 8:35, poor taste and timing for sure...

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  33. Enjoyed your comments, RF!

    It seems the "Queen Camilla" propaganda push has come to this blog. (sigh) That will never happen IMO but I guess Charles refuses to give up on it. There will never be any public love for that woman, no amount of forcing her upon the people will change that.

    I'm the one who usually comments with you about Diana!:) So glad the boys did this program.

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    1. Thank you for the support. :-)

      Yes, me thinks Charles is trying to walk up a down escalator.

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  34. Thank you Royalfan. Excellent points made.

    Diana said in the Bashir interview that she would accept half the blame for the failure of her marriage, but she wouldn't accept more than that. This statement alone proves her true nature was introspective and generous, rather than selfish and vindictive. Anyone with the gift of plain logic could see that she didn't really deserve half the blame.

    After Diana's death the boys were primarily raised at Boarding School, although The Queen and others in the Royal Family took an interest. Some of the British Aristocracy even lent a hand. Emile van Cutsem was a mother figure, and there were a few Nannies. Prince Charles was spending most of his time with Camilla and their "friends" from the divorce on. I always roll my eyes when he is given any credit for William and Harry's upbringing.

    Every person has a limit to how much misery they can bear. Diana reached that limit early on in that sham of a marriage. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" comes to mind whenever I hear people criticizing her behavior in those days. It's simply cause-and-effect.

    Belle

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    1. Yeah, if I was Diana, I would never have accepted even 50%!! Lol more than generous on her part indeed.

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  35. I've just started watching a documentary on Netflix titled "Diana: 7 Days That Shook the World." It's really very interesting with a lot of interviews with people who were close to her at the time of her death.

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    1. I know the ages on here are very diverse. Do you remember when she died? I was too young to remember her getting married but her death was just like BOOM! The whole world cried. It was heartbreaking. That's why I think W&H can pretty much do anything and people will forgive it. They are cloaked in Diana's legacy forever.

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